Frigidity in women - what is it and how to deal with it

Updated July 22: 102767 Author: Dmitry Petrov
Hello, dear readers of the KtoNaNovenkogo.ru blog. One of the most common ways to get pleasure from life is sex.

But are all people able to enjoy this moment to the fullest? A considerable number of them face problems of low libido or lack of orgasm.

Frigidity is often mentioned in this regard. What is it like in women, what reasons lead to it, and how to avoid frigidity are important questions in the modern world that are raised here.

What is frigidity

Frigidity is a decrease in sexual desire and a low level of excitability in women. Sometimes these indicators of quality sexual relations are completely absent. The word comes from the Latin “frigidus” - cold .

Lack of pleasure from sex used to not be given such publicity as it is today, because it was unacceptable to raise such a topic. But this does not mean that they have not suffered from this in the past.

Therefore, it is very important to understand this issue in order to promptly suspect frigidity in yourself, a friend or sexual partner.

Men also have problems in this area. But since this directly leads to erectile dysfunction, they do not hesitate and immediately run to the doctor.

But girls tend not to share their problem with anyone. This is where the belief that women often fake orgasm comes from.

Types of frigidity:

1. sexual arousal disorder – libido is normal, but the girl cannot become aroused at the beginning of sexual intercourse, and/or maintain this state throughout the entire process;
2. weak libido - a girl does not often or strongly want to have sex, but during the act itself she can feel pleasure;
3. pain during sexual stimulation, which can occur for various somatic reasons;
4. orgasm dysfunction – cannot reach the peak of pleasure, regardless of the situation and partner.

Treatment with folk remedies

Some folk remedies are also used to increase sexual desire. However, such methods are auxiliary, and it is advisable to use them only after the approval of a doctor.

• Medicinal tea . It is necessary to mix dry chamomile, nettle and rose hips in equal proportions. 2 tbsp. l. Pour 300 ml of water into this mixture and boil for several minutes. Strain and drink throughout the day.
• Drink with spices . Add 4 cloves, a little chili pepper and nutmeg to 200 ml of milk. Boil, strain, add a little honey and drink throughout the day. Take every day for at least two weeks.
• Anise tincture . Pour 50 g of anise seeds into 200 ml of cognac and leave for two weeks. Drink 1 tbsp. l. a day before meals. The course of treatment is at least 3 months.
• Dried fruits . Mix figs, prunes, dried apricots, dates, walnuts, almonds in equal proportions, chop everything and add a little honey. Take 1 tbsp twice a day. l.
• Tea with ginger . Grind 50 ml of ginger, pour 1 liter of boiling water and leave in a thermos for several hours. It is recommended to consume this drink with honeycombs. In this case, the wax should be chewed for a long time, but not consumed orally.
• Cinnamon . It is recommended to add it to your morning coffee. This coffee should be drunk with dark chocolate.
• Massage with aromatic oils . Patchouli, ylang-ylang, and sandalwood oils are suitable for massage. It is advisable that such a massage be performed by a loved one - this way the woman can relax as much as possible.
• Oriental dances and yoga . These activities provide an opportunity to relax and explore sexuality.

How does it manifest in women?

Depending on the degree of frigidity - mild or severe, which provoked its occurrence, the manifestations and symptoms will differ.

Commonly encountered signs include the following :

1. lack of interest in sex, sometimes there may be complete disgust;

2. no interest in sexy clothes, erotic films and masturbation;
3. does not reach the peak of excitement and release, although he may enjoy the act itself or providing joy to his partner;
4. after sex, feelings of dissatisfaction, irritation, desire to be alone;
5. little lubrication is released and/or there is pain during sexual intercourse;
6. general interest in men is reduced.

It is worth paying special attention to another symptom - vaginismus . This is a contraction of the muscles of the perineum and vagina so much that penetration of the penis is impossible or is very painful.

It can occur not only during sex, but also when going to the gynecologist or thinking about intimacy.

Pathogenesis

In some cases, sexual coldness is caused physically, in others it is a sexual disorder. In this case, the body's reactions may be different. an orgasm during sexual intercourse , although they experience pleasant sensations. This condition is usually associated with delayed psychosexual development. Another part is indifferent to sexual intercourse and does not experience pleasant feelings. Such manifestations can be caused by overwork, mental illness, alcohol abuse, etc. The third category of women has aversion and hostility to sexual contact. In this case we are talking about the inhibition of sexual functions by psychological factors.

Reasons that make a woman frigid

Frigidity in women can be caused due to congenital and acquired factors, physical and psychological. There may also be a combination of reasons.

Somatic diseases

Some diseases of the body lead to a decrease in the sensitivity of nerve endings and the filling of blood in organs, the genital organs in particular.

These include diabetes mellitus, heart failure, vascular wall disorders, sexually transmitted diseases, pathology of the nervous and genitourinary systems.

Hormonal imbalance

Hormone imbalance can be a congenital problem.

Particularly affected is the imbalance of testosterone, which is also produced in the female body. Significantly reduces libido and taking oral contraceptives.

Weak vaginal muscles

It can be very difficult to achieve orgasm if there are problems with the vaginal muscles. A girl may be born with undeveloped ones, or acquire stretching of them.

Therefore, they will not tightly grip the penis, which is why there is no necessary irritation of the nerve endings. Or after childbirth.

Lack of sex

If during short-term abstinence women's libido increases, then during long periods of abstinence sexual desire decreases significantly.

Psychological trauma and disorders

A negative experience with a partner or rape can cause the opportunity to have sex to trigger negative memories and emotions. A woman can feel not only reluctance, but also disgust and fear.

If in adolescence a girl did not have a bright appearance, or she did not know how to present herself, then she could face a lack of interest from boys or negative statements. This can create low self-esteem, uncertainty and tightness.

Depressive disorder (what is it?) significantly reduces libido. And also the “housekeeper effect”, when a woman lives from cooking to cleaning, and does not feel like an object of desire.

Negative effects of parenting

If there was a very stern father or mother who gave moral advice to their daughter, then she may grow up thinking that sexual intercourse is bad. This also happens if you raise a child in a strongly religious environment.

Sexual illiteracy

People spend a lot of time learning job skills and fun facts on the Internet, but very little on how to have sex. It seems to be on a subconscious level, so why bother asking this question.

Often couples do not know in which position a woman can be given more pleasure. Or partners don’t talk to each other about how they would like it, what sexual fantasies they have. The woman does not give any response to change something together.

A girl may have sexual relations out of love for a person or fear of losing him. But such an “act of self-sacrifice” leads to negative emotions and sediment, which can then spread to the man.

Therefore, it is important for both that the woman consult a specialist in time.

Arousal disorders

15 years of experience

Lychagin Andrey Sergeevich

Head of the department of innovative technologies in the field of andrology and urology, urologist-andrologist, ultrasound doctor, sexologist Candidate of Medical Sciences

This problem manifests itself physiologically: a woman’s vagina does not moisturize, even after prolonged stimulation and mutual sexual attraction between partners. Sexual intercourse in this case is difficult because both the man and the woman experience physical discomfort. This sexual disorder can be observed throughout life or in relationships with a specific partner.

Most often, the causes of arousal disorder are mental factors: incompatibility of partners (in almost 80% of cases), depression, stressful situation. And, of course, a huge role is played by sexual illiteracy, placing all responsibility for one’s arousal on a man, and perceiving the process of sexual intimacy as something shameful and indecent.

However, there are often cases when arousal disorder is caused by diseases. It can be:

• local diseases – endometriosis, cystitis, vaginitis;
• systemic diseases - hypothyroidism and diabetes mellitus (diabetes is more relevant for men);
• pathology of the central or peripheral nervous system (for example, multiple sclerosis);
• diseases of the muscular system (for example, muscular dystrophy);
• use of certain medications (eg, oral contraceptives, blood pressure medications, tranquilizers).

Diagnosis of frigidity

It is worth understanding what frigidity is in women, that it can be corrected in most cases.

Therefore, it is important to consult a doctor in time, and not wait until the attitude towards sexual intercourse is completely overgrown with negative emotions and opinions about it.

Specialists to contact: sex therapist and gynecologist . After consultation, they may be referred to a therapist, psychotherapist, or endocrinologist.

Standard diagnostics includes the following points:

1. Conversation . The doctor asks the patient to tell about her situation, how sexual intercourse goes, what emotions it evokes. The answer may lead to a possible reason why a woman is frigid. But often a more in-depth examination is required.
2. Questioning . Another method that allows you to determine what next diagnosis the girl should be sent for. A list of various tests helps to reveal the problem from different angles, since here the patient can be more sincere than in a direct dialogue with a specialist.
3. Examination by a gynecologist . Allows us to make a conclusion about congenital frigidity due to impaired development of the genital organs, or about diseases.
4. Blood analysis. Determines the level and ratio of sex hormones. The specialist can pay attention to other indicators. For example, the normal blood sugar level if diabetes is suspected.

5. Instrumental diagnostics . Ultrasound, ECG, CT, MRI of the pelvic and abdominal organs are performed.
6. Studying the list of drugs . Some of the medications that the patient is already taking for other pathologies and diseases can affect libido. Therefore, they look at their composition to choose the best analogue.

Prevention

To avoid problems with sexual desire, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

• Visit your gynecologist regularly to prevent the development of chronic diseases. Preventive examinations by specialists of other profiles are also important.
• Build the most trusting relationship with your partner, discuss with him your feelings, preferences and problems that have arisen.
• Do not practice sexual contact if it happens “through force”, without desire. If this happens constantly, a woman may eventually develop aversion to sex in general or to a loved one.
• Learn to relax, have a good rest, and avoid stressful situations.

How to stop being frigid

Depending on what cause was discovered, treatment and prevention are prescribed. If the problem is in the structure of the genital organs, then they resort to the surgical method. If there is a hormonal imbalance, take medication.

When there are weak vaginal muscles, they give instructions on certain physical exercises that strengthen them. For diseases of other organs, patients are treated by a therapist.

In other cases, the client is referred to a psychologist and psychotherapist. At the session, they discuss in detail what formed the basis for the emergence of frigidity.

Depending on the reason, they try to improve the situation in sexual relations. If there is a depressive disorder, then the appropriate pills are prescribed.

The sex therapist gives each woman recommendations, taking into account the individuality of the case.

There are general provisions :

1. It is worth turning to your partner and sharing your experiences, since this concerns him too.
   In addition, together you can think about changing positions or the atmosphere during sex, and share your desires and feelings. Intimate relationships are a mutual process and the ability to listen to each other.
2. Avoid stress and fatigue. Because the body must be full of vitality and energy in order to want to exchange it with a partner.
3. Watch erotic films, read a novel with a passionate plot. This will fuel libido and fantasy.

4. Try to diversify sex, because even previously favorite things can get boring over time. Treat it as an interesting and exciting experiment, finding new aspects that will satisfy both.
5. Don't forget about expressing feelings not only in bed. And in the form of morning hugs and tender kisses, pleasant words to each other, compliments. So that a woman understands that she is desired and loved.

During pregnancy

So-called temporary frigidity can be observed in a woman during pregnancy and after childbirth. During this period, significant hormonal changes occur in the body of the expectant mother. In addition, she is psychologically tuned specifically to procreation, so sometimes this also affects libido. However, this phenomenon is reversible, and a few months after childbirth, normal sexual desire is gradually restored.

Consequences and complications

If sexual life causes discomfort, there is no sexual desire, and everything related to the intimate side of life causes negative emotions, then over time a woman may develop a depressive state. Frigidity can also lead to the development of other psychological problems.

If we are talking about physiological reasons, then this condition can subsequently lead to infertility and diseases of the reproductive system.

Preparing to visit the doctor

After the partner understands his problem, he has a question: how to get rid of frigidity? Specialists from JSC “Medicine” (clinic of Academician Roitberg) will help you understand your own problems.

Before visiting a sex psychologist, the patient can be examined by a gynecologist or urologist-andrologist. You should take a shower and don’t forget to bring a diaper and clean socks.

No special preparation is required for a meeting with a sexologist, except that you should be prepared to openly discuss your problems. JSC “Medicine” (academician Roitberg’s clinic) keeps data about each patient confidential.

Women can ask:

• sexual life in the postpartum period;
• lack of orgasm;
• changes in orientation in adulthood;
• Couples counseling is open.

Diet

Diet for hormonal imbalance in women

• Efficacy: therapeutic effect after 3 weeks
• Timing: constantly
• Cost of products: 1400-1500 rubles per week

The diet should be varied and rich in all the minerals and elements necessary for women’s health. To enhance sexual desire, nutritionists recommend introducing into the menu some foods and dishes that have aphrodisiac properties. It is recommended to include in the diet more often:

• red meat;
• fish and seafood (oysters, shrimp, etc.);
• eggs;
• spices and herbs;
• bitter chocolate;
• bananas;
• vegetables and herbs (parsley, celery, avocado);
• red wine in small quantities.

Classification

When clarifying the form, type and severity of sexual disorder, a number of factors are taken into account. Currently, frigidity is classified according to several criteria.

By time of occurrence:

• primary - the woman has never had sexual desire;
• secondary - sexual coldness appeared in a woman who previously led a normal sex life.

By reversibility:

• Irreversible, also known as organic or true, - factors have been discovered that cannot be eliminated by modern methods.
• Reversible, also functional or temporary, sexual desire can be restored after eliminating the factors that led to it.

For educational reasons:

• symptomatic - a temporary disorder that occurs against the background of other diseases;
• abstinence - formed due to prolonged abstinence;
• constitutional - congenital underdevelopment of female sexuality;
• psychogenic - absence or decrease in libido under the influence of psychological factors;
• retardation - delayed development of sexual function.