When pregnancy occurs, a couple who is expecting a child has a number of questions. One of them is whether it is possible to have sex, and how to do it so as not to harm the mother and baby.
In fact, everyone's situation is individual. Ban or approval largely depends on the health status of the pregnant woman, the duration and course of pregnancy. On these issues, it is necessary, putting aside shame and embarrassment, to consult with your gynecologist.
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Intimate relationships among women in an interesting position have their pros and cons. Moreover, only some of them are of a medical nature; for the most part, sex for pregnant women is important psychologically.
Pros of having an intimate relationship:
- A hormonal surge that improves overall well-being.
Sex for a pregnant woman means maintaining optimal hormonal levels. A woman, even during pregnancy, needs sexual release, which, as is known, is associated precisely with a hormonal surge during arousal and orgasm. - Improving blood circulation in the pelvis.
Orgasm helps saturate the pelvic organs with blood. But for sex to bring only benefits, you need to make sure that there are no contraindications to it. - Vivid emotions and sexual liberation. It's no secret that many women become much more relaxed and sexier during pregnancy. The expectant mother is not afraid of getting pregnant; the uterus puts pressure on the pelvic organs, increasing sensitivity, making the breasts very sensitive. As for hormonal levels, it is not uncommon for women who have never previously experienced an orgasm during sex to begin to feel it after becoming pregnant.
- Positive attitude.
The mood that pregnant women experience during sexual intercourse has a beneficial effect on the course of pregnancy and the condition of the fetus. - Psychological comfort
. A woman should always be sure that she is desired. Many women, starting to gain weight and change in appearance, become upset, thinking that they have lost their attractiveness. This is a big misconception. A loving man experiences an even greater range of feelings for his pregnant wife: tenderness, pride and other emotions are added to passion. A baby unites two people forever and makes the marriage more fulfilling.
Why does discharge appear from the mammary glands during sexual intercourse?
During pregnancy, the mammary gland prepares for feeding the baby in advance; from about the third month of pregnancy, the production of colostrum (a thick yellowish liquid) begins.
During sexual arousal, the hormone oxytocin is released. This is the same hormone that is released when you breastfeed your baby. The “love hormone,” which is responsible for sexual desire, also ensures milk production. Therefore, it is natural that a small amount of colostrum may be released during sexual intercourse.
When is sex in a position contraindicated?
If there is even the slightest threat of interruption, you must refuse sex. Sexual arousal can also be dangerous. Pay attention to the tone. If the uterus is very often in a state of tone - i.e. she's tense - don't take risks. During sexual intercourse, the uterus contracts, and this at any stage is fraught with termination of pregnancy.
During the consultation, the gynecologist informs the expectant mother about the condition of placenta previa. Avoid deep penetration if you have a low presentation. Otherwise, this is fraught with heavy bleeding. If a pregnant woman has already had miscarriages, premature birth, or leakage of water, then you need to be more careful with sex at any stage. You shouldn’t give it up completely, you just need to choose safe positions. If a woman periodically has dark-colored discharge, or she and her partner are being treated for an STD, then sex should be postponed until these obstacles are completely eliminated. In case of multiple pregnancy, sex should be completely abandoned , starting from the twentieth week of gestation. Oxytocin, which is produced in women during orgasm, can trigger labor.
A cunning precaution
It is quite normal for a pregnant woman to feel contractions and contractions of the uterus during orgasm. Such contractions can last about half an hour, or even longer. This happens for a number of reasons: due to extra blood flow to their genitals; due to the presence of prostaglandins (they act as a vasodilator) in male sperm. Sometimes contractions can be caused by great emotional stress. Some experts believe that such contractions help a pregnant woman maintain muscle tone of the uterus. One way or another, if these contractions begin to give the woman discomfort, use a condom. And see if this situation changes in a couple of weeks. Another way that can help a woman endure contractions more easily is by massaging her back or feet.
Women whose sex drive decreases during pregnancy may experience an increased need for affection and tenderness from the child's future father. These caresses and tenderness can lead him to a state of strong sexual arousal. To help the father-to-be cope with these difficulties, his pregnant partner should lie next to him and caress his thighs, testicles and breasts, while at the same time allowing him to masturbate and bring himself to orgasm.
Dangerous stages of pregnancy when you can’t have sex
There are periods when sex is contraindicated for pregnant women:
- The first weeks (until the 10th week)
. It is wise to refuse sex after an ultrasound has confirmed pregnancy. After the tenth week, you can start having sex, but carefully. - Physiological timing of menstruation
. Please note that the risk of miscarriage comes from the physiological days of menstruation. In other words, these are the calendar days when you should have your period. It is on such days that the uterus is most susceptible to opening and contracts easily. - A month before giving birth.
Sperm during unprotected intercourse causes contractions of the uterus, so you need to be extremely careful in the last weeks. Regular and unprotected sex (if the partners do not have STDs) is useful during post-term pregnancy, when stimulation will only be beneficial.
The most favorable time for having sex is the second trimester. The stomach does not bother the woman yet, toxicosis is behind her, and sexual desire seems to cover her with renewed vigor, delivering pleasure to both partners.
Sexual life during pregnancy
There are a lot of rumors circulating around the topic of “sex during pregnancy,” often based on a negative attitude towards sex life in general and the dangers of sex for pregnant women. Old schools of obstetrics claim that sexual activity is strictly contraindicated in the first three and last two months of pregnancy, because sex can allegedly provoke miscarriage or premature birth. But is it?
Let's take into account that there are two categories of women. The first category is healthy women whose pregnancy is proceeding normally. The majority of such women (another thing is that doctors often create a disease out of a normal pregnancy). The second group are women who experience pregnancy complications from the mother, the fetus, or both. We will talk about this category later, first we will pay attention to the majority.
During what periods of pregnancy can you have sex?
Most women do not know they are pregnant until 8–12 weeks, when they begin to react seriously to a missed period, and many may experience implantation bleeding, which is mistaken for another period. Nevertheless, they are all actively sexually active. Clinical studies deny the negative impact of sexual activity in the first trimester (the first three months of pregnancy), as well as in other trimesters too. Therefore, in modern obstetrics, sex and pregnancy are compatible at any period.
Frequency of sexual intercourse during pregnancy
Questions about the frequency of sexual intercourse are of interest to many women and men, and here it should be noted that the frequency of sexual intercourse does not have norms or generally accepted standards - it is acceptable by a couple of partners in the quantity and regularity in which they like it and does not cause discomfort .
A healthy pregnancy in this aspect is not a contraindication. Conditional restrictions usually occur at the end of pregnancy. If sexual intercourse is not too frequent and intense in the last months of pregnancy, it will not provoke premature labor in healthy pregnant women. The orgasm obtained during sexual intercourse, although it leads to contractions of the uterus, but not to such an extent that it can lead to termination of pregnancy.
It is important to understand that sexual acts should not be forced. If a woman for some reason refuses sexual intercourse, this must be understood and accepted. Often this is the fear of “harming the child with the penis.” There are many cases when men are also afraid of this and refuse sex with their pregnant wives. These fears are based on myths and prejudices. The penis is much “softer” than a vaginal ultrasound probe, and more pleasant, so there will be no harm from it either for the woman or for the fetus.
The impact of pregnancy on a woman's sex life
It is known that with the onset of pregnancy, libido often decreases, the frequency of sexual relations decreases, the psycho-emotional component dominates, so women become more tearful, more sensual, and more emotional. The first trimester of pregnancy (up to 14–16 weeks) may be accompanied by drowsiness, weakness, nausea, vomiting, and dizziness, which also affects your attitude towards sex. Many women are afraid that sexual intercourse can provoke pregnancy loss, and doctors themselves are often to blame for the emergence of fears and the spread of myths. Often, women's attitudes towards their sexual partners change from positive to sharply negative and even aggressive when it comes to sex.
Although blood flow to the pelvic organs increases during pregnancy, this usually does not increase sexual arousal or improve a woman's sensation during intercourse. However, for a number of women, the opposite happens - their libido increases, they become more easily aroused and achieve orgasm.
Sometimes women are afraid of arousal itself, believing that it is harmful during pregnancy. Although during pregnancy the amount of vaginal discharge increases significantly, nevertheless, the vagina must be prepared for sexual intercourse, which is achieved precisely by good arousal. The point is not even in the amount of “lubricant”, but in the fact that when aroused, the shape of the vagina changes - its size increases, which allows the erect penis to be inserted into the vagina painlessly.
During pregnancy, almost 90% of pregnant women experience a physiological condition such as thrush (candidiasis), which may be accompanied by an increase in discharge, swelling of the vaginal mucosa, and itching. Most often, this does not interfere with sexual intercourse, but if the inflammatory process is severe, sexual intercourse may be accompanied by discomfort, pain, and burning. This also needs to be taken into account and not force sexual relations during such periods. About discharge during pregnancy, read the article “Discharge in pregnant women: instructions for saving “drowning”
Sexual intercourse and childbirth
The closer to childbirth, the fewer women have sex. Previously, doctors prohibited sexual intercourse two months before the expected birth, citing such recommendations by the fact that sexual intercourse could provoke premature birth. This myth has now been refuted by a number of clinical studies.
The problem is that having sex in later stages is accompanied by great inconvenience, pain and discomfort, and many women refuse sexual intercourse. Only 25–26% of women have sexual intercourse in the last month of pregnancy, which is not surprising - pain during intercourse occurs in almost 50% of pregnant women at this stage.
Almost half of pregnant women believe that sexual intercourse can speed up labor. Doctors and nurses often emphasize that you cannot be sexually active before giving birth. And, conversely, there are many women for whom doctors recommend sexual activity in order to speed up delivery. The argument that sexual intercourse can speed up cervical ripening and the onset of labor is based on the well-known fact that semen contains prostaglandins, which can lead to cervical dilatation and uterine contractions. Such recommendations are still called “husband therapy.”
But it turns out, according to recent studies, sexual intercourse does not accelerate the ripening of the cervix, its softening, shortening and opening, and does not provoke labor activity. Therefore, there is no dependence between sexual intercourse and labor. This means that having sex if a woman desires is possible and safe until the onset of labor.
Sexual positions during pregnancy
Since lovemaking in the second half of pregnancy can be accompanied by pain and discomfort, it is important to choose a comfortable sexual position. The main goal is to prevent abdominal compression and achieve better relaxation during penile penetration. Some doctors recommend incomplete insertion without penetrating deep into the vagina.
The traditional missionary position is practiced by the largest number of sexual couples, but as the uterus grows, intercourse in this position becomes uncomfortable. The cowgirl position (woman on top) is often recommended, which eliminates pressure on the anterior wall of the abdomen and allows the woman to control the depth of penetration of the penis into her vagina. The side position is also acceptable and comfortable in the last weeks of pregnancy. So sexual partners can try different positions that are most comfortable for a pregnant woman. It is important that sex brings pleasure to both.
Orgasm and pregnancy
Some women allow sexual intercourse during pregnancy, but many of them are afraid of orgasm, believing that uterine contractions during orgasm can provoke pregnancy loss. It is important to understand that the uterus contracts throughout pregnancy . Unfounded fears regarding “hypertonicity of the uterus” are the product of mutual illiteracy - both doctors and women.
So, remember: normally the uterus contracts throughout pregnancy, and the closer to childbirth, the stronger and more frequent these contractions are. However, unlike contractions, these muscle contractions are chaotic in nature and can be not only the physiological rhythm of the uterus, but also the result of the influence of various stimuli - internal and external (fetal movements, compression of the anterior abdominal wall, turns of the torso, etc.) . Premature birth most often occurs in women with cervical insufficiency, but coitus itself is not the cause. Contractions during orgasm do not cause progressive, increasing contractions of the uterus that will lead to the opening of the cervix.
Another myth is that an orgasm can deprive a child of oxygen and lead to oxygen starvation (hypoxia). Firstly, orgasm lasts only a few seconds, so its effect on the fetus is extremely short-lived. Secondly, studies have shown that the fetal heart rate slows down slightly during orgasm (as during any uterine contractions), but returns to normal immediately after orgasm, and the child does not experience hypoxia. So: definitely an orgasm does not harm the child .
Other types of sexual activity during pregnancy
If pregnant women have dominant fears regarding sexual intercourse in the vagina or increase discomfort and pain during intercourse, then sexual relations can be diversified with other types of sexual activity. Men can show their imagination in relation to sexual play, partner masturbation, and oral sex. Although anal sex is safe, it is important to strictly adhere to the rules of hygiene and never insert the penis into the vagina again after anal sex without washing it well with warm water and soap.
There is evidence that oral sex increases a dangerous complication of pregnancy - pulmonary embolism, but it is difficult to say how reliable they are. Although some doctors do not recommend oral sex during pregnancy, there is no strict scientific basis for such contraindications. Masturbation during pregnancy is not contraindicated, as it does not harm the woman or the fetus.
Justified restrictions on sexual relations
Women whose pregnancy is accompanied by complications may receive advice from their doctor to limit or completely abstain from sexual activity, although the list of such complications is very short.
Warnings about the possible harm of sexual life, as a rule, concern those women who already have other risk factors that can themselves provoke termination of pregnancy. In such cases, sexual intercourse will be an additional risk factor.
The threat of miscarriage, which is accompanied by pain and bleeding, some types of improper attachment of the fetal place - placenta previa (complete or central), functional inferiority of the cervix, partial placental abruption - these are the main problems in which sexual activity should be limited or temporary completely stopped.
2-3 weeks before the expected birth, frequent and intense sexual activity is also not recommended for this category of pregnant women, although, as we have already found out, regular sexual activity does not speed up the onset of labor.
Complications from the fetus are most often not a contraindication for sexual activity, since the fetus is reliably protected by amniotic fluid. An exception may be severe polyhydramnios, during which sexual intercourse will become an additional risk factor for premature birth.
If a pregnant woman is unsure whether she can have sex, the couple should seek advice from a gynecologist.
Adultery on the part of men due to restrictions on intimacy most often begins during pregnancy, which often ends in the breakdown of the family after the birth of the child.
Spouses whose conflict situation is escalating need urgent consultation with a family psychologist, if one is within reach. You cannot turn pregnancy into an instrument for destroying your own family home.
The topic of pregnancy is comprehensively covered in Elena Petrovna’s series of webinars “Pregnancy: from conception to childbirth”
This article is also available in Ukrainian at this link.
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How much and how you can have sex during pregnancy: choose positions and do not abuse
The absence of fear of becoming pregnant and bright desires should not become a reason for orgies. No matter what stage of pregnancy you are in, limit yourself to sex that consists of one act. Ideally, it should last up to ten minutes. In this case, the contact between the penis and the cervix is minimal, and there should be no pressure on the stomach at all.
The permitted poses are quite sufficient to avoid harming the fetus and to obtain pleasure.
- The knee-elbow position is allowed, but on the condition that the man does not make sudden thrusts. A woman can relax as much as possible.
- In the early stages, the cowgirl position is allowed until the end of the second trimester. In the third trimester it is better to refuse it.
- The position on the side is the most optimal at any stage. The couple gets maximum pleasure from this, and the pregnant woman’s belly is safe.
The most alternative types of sex during pregnancy are oral and anal. But, if you have not had anal sex before pregnancy, then it is better not to experiment and do not start - pain during intercourse, unpleasant emotions and hemorrhoids will be provided for you. Don't forget that this type of sex can affect early delivery, so it doesn't hurt to be careful.
Oral sex may be prohibited if partners have herpes on the lips or caries. Regardless of the stage of pregnancy, you should have sex carefully, and first of all think about the safety of the baby in the tummy.
Time for a change
Most often, a woman's sexual desire changes during pregnancy. For some, it increases sharply, in which case the couple enthusiastically remembers nine months as a time of delightful sexual relations. For some, libido decreases or disappears completely. All this depends on the individual characteristics of pregnancy, the psychological and sexual constitution of the woman, the mood of the partner and the trimester of pregnancy.
In the first trimester, sexual desire most often weakens, especially if we are talking about the first pregnancy. This is facilitated by worries and fears associated with a new unknown condition, as well as poor health, fatigue, nausea, engorgement of the mammary glands, which are common during this period, and emotional instability associated with hormonal changes in the woman’s body.
The second trimester is usually marked by the restoration of sexual desire and harmonious partnerships.
In the third trimester, anticipation of childbirth, a large belly, which sometimes makes a woman feel unattractive, and problems associated with late toxicosis (nephropathy of pregnancy) often reduce sexual desire again.
Where to get a fetal ultrasound and consult on intimate issues in St. Petersburg
We invite you to St. Petersburg at the Diana paid clinic. Here you can undergo an anonymous examination and get advice from an experienced gynecologist. At the medical center, you can get tested for sexually transmitted infections, undergo an expert ultrasound of the fetus using a new device, and ask doctors intimate questions without fear of publicity.
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