Fear, pain and isolation: where does social phobia come from and what to do about it


Symptoms of social phobia

An irrational, obsessive fear of communicating and performing any actions in the presence of other people is a clear sign of social phobia. This disorder is one of the most common and is often combined with anxiety disorders or depression. Social phobia affects children, adolescents and adults. It can appear only in certain situations or be persistent, heal over time, progress or recur.

Main symptoms of the disorder:

  • Anxiety. Factual circumstances and situations, as well as thoughts about them, can be disturbing. Social phobes are painfully aware of the need for communication, any activity, or simply being in the company of other people. Psychological difficulties are caused by contacts with large audiences or individuals. Fear can haunt specific conditions, for example, when visiting restaurants, traveling on public transport, joint training, or in a work team.
  • Somatic manifestations. Anxiety and stiffness cause a number of physical reactions: tachycardia, increased sweating, trembling of limbs, shortness of breath, dizziness, difficulty swallowing.
  • Thought and speech disorders. An uncomfortable environment provokes stupor, an inability to coherently express one’s thoughts, or to carry on a conversation at ease. Social phobes often exhibit tongue-tiedness, changes in intonation, and repetitions of the same words. Before and after forced communication, patients tend to experience situations painfully, finding imaginary ridicule or disdain in other people’s attitudes towards themselves.
  • Avoidance behavior. A logical consequence of neurotic fears. In an effort to protect themselves from the painful need to be among the unsafe outside world, patients try to contact others as little as possible.

A mild or moderate degree of social phobia manifests itself as a person’s dislike for certain actions or events. For example, for interviews, going to hypermarkets, speaking from the podium. Total disorder leads to limited quality of life. Patients avoid all people except those closest to them, rarely leave the house, and cannot fully study and work. Any social contact is painful for them.

Alone, patients whose social phobia is associated with impaired self-esteem are also not always happy. In their free time, they repeatedly experience their failures, study external and internal shortcomings, arrange a wardrobe audit, finding more and more new shortcomings in themselves.

How to get rid of social phobia


It is quite possible to get rid of the fear of society if you set such a goal for yourself. The help of the patient’s relatives is of great importance, since it will not be easy for a social phobia person to fight his fears. First of all, it is necessary to change the inadequate assessment of a psychotraumatic situation, internalized by the subconscious, by reliving it, interpreting it differently - in a positive way.

To help such patients, medical professionals use:

  • treatment of social phobia with hypnosis;
  • cognitive behavioral psychotherapy (CBT);
  • taking medications.

Reasons for the development of the disorder

Most cases of social phobia are associated with the costs of upbringing in childhood. Excessive care and protection from “excessive” communication lead to shyness, the inability to independently make new contacts, and build communication with other people. The other extreme is the overly picky, critical attitude of parents. As a result: the formation of fear of lack of love, emotional deprivation, low self-esteem, conviction of insufficient attractiveness, ability to interest interlocutors.

The cause of social phobia may be a certain traumatic event that caused a surge of negative emotions: a bad date, aggression, inadequate reaction from other people, ridicule, loss of reputation, experienced feelings of shame, resentment, disappointment. In children, the impetus for the development of the disorder is the negative attitude of peers and quarrels with classmates.

Factors that increase the risk of social phobia:

  • limited social circle;
  • monotonous work that does not involve much contact with other people;
  • accentuation of character: tendency to loneliness, quiet leisure, increased vulnerability, isolation;
  • physical features;
  • health defects: visual defects, hearing defects, speech, neurological disorders.

Among patients with social phobia there are people of different status, level of intelligence, education, and position in society.

In an effort to muffle anxiety and restlessness, social phobes often resort to doping: alcohol, psychostimulants, drugs. Substances that relieve nervous tension temporarily neutralize the phobia, restore comfort after unpleasant situations, and drown out emotions. Over time, passion develops into addiction, further destroying the personality. Safer methods of substitution are hobbies that you can indulge in alone: ​​computer games, reading, collecting.

Fear, pain and isolation: where does social phobia come from and what to do about it

People with social phobia are often convinced that they are the center of attention, that everyone is looking at them and evaluating them. This is my myth: I thought that I was the center of the earth. In fact, people don’t care, they are in their own processes. If a person thinks that all attention is directed to him, this is his own projection. But if you simply tell a social phobe: “But this is how it really is,” he will not believe it, because he will be confident in his point of view. In the process of working on himself and communicating with other people, he needs to discover this - that people, by and large, don’t care what happens to him.

I talked with psychologists about this topic. For some reason, they believe that the statement “they don’t really care about you” is the very saving pill that they should let go of all worries. But in fact, this is an argument at the level of “don’t worry” and “everything will be fine.”

Firstly, the statement that “they don’t care about you” is too absolute. If someone falls into the field of someone’s attention, then the observer in any case, even in passing, even unconsciously, even reprehensibly and primarily, builds an opinion about the object. This opinion depends on many factors. Many are beyond our control—the observer’s mood, circumstances. But we can influence others - our appearance, our behavior. Anxiety arises precisely because of factors under our control. We tend to exaggerate their importance, that's true. But leveling them out with the assertion that they don’t care about us rather causes a feeling of one’s own insignificance and uselessness. This is unlikely to be an appropriate target for therapy. From my own experience, the most productive thing to do is to work on what is actually under control - tidying up your appearance, working on your manners, etc. Self-confidence is very important in social communications. It can naturally be built only on what is under our control.

Secondly, social phobics actually crave attention. Otherwise there would be no problem and no phobia. Well, they would be hermits and live their own lives. But the problem is that at the same time they are afraid of attention. Or rather, the negative part of it: condemnation and rejection. Even purely theoretical, even just the possibility that someone could think badly. Social phobes always consider the situation in its worst development, just so as not to be too upset if it happens, but just think “well, I expected this.” Eventually it becomes a habit, and it seems that everyone always thinks badly. Here it is worth working with the idea that no one can ever please everyone at once, and focusing on those moments when someone definitely thought well. But instead, the person receives the answer that no matter how hard he tries, “no one cares about him.” Isn't it a shame?

I understand that psychologists work according to methods. But this is still an area in which it is simply necessary to dive at least a little deeper, to show human understanding and empathy. Mechanically, it is impossible to help with logical arguments. We are not all that stupid, and we ourselves came to obvious ideas like “no one cares,” but rejected them. And not because we have problems, but because these statements have little connection with reality.

help yourself

Since social phobia is not a severe mental disorder, an individual suffering from it is theoretically capable of self-healing. This, oddly enough, will be helped by one of the symptoms – criticality. To do this, a person should sort out his own life story and understand exactly which episode became fatal and analyze it.

Self-help can also be an option such as speaking. That is, after each alarming episode, the patient recounts what happened in great detail. If you do this every time after an incident, regularly and without fail, then, in the end, social anxiety will become less acute and will recede.

However, it should be understood that not everyone will be able to bring themselves back to normal “with their own hands.” Moreover, self-medication does not at all guarantee that traumatic circumstances will ever make themselves felt again in a more negative way. So it is more advisable to contact a specialist - a psychotherapist or psychologist.

In Russia, according to the latest data, about 5–10% of the population suffer from social phobia at different stages of life. Most of them attribute their condition to excessive timidity and other personal shortcomings. Only some people a little under 30 years old are aware of their problem when other neurotic disorders join it. At first they try to solve it on their own, but, having suffered a fiasco, they decide to ask for help from those who know how to help them normalize their social potential. It is important for them to know any information about social phobia and methods of getting rid of it.

Social phobia is a disease of developed countries

Social phobia is distributed very unevenly in different parts of the world. Research shows that in Western countries, 7–13% of people experience social phobia at least once in their lives, with the United States leading in the number of cases (12–13% of the population).

Social phobia is much more common in developed countries than in developing countries. In 2021, scientists surveyed 142 thousand respondents from 26 countries, 13 of which had a high standard of living, 7 - average, 6 - below average or low.

Countries with low living standards (Africa and the Eastern Mediterranean) had significantly fewer social phobics than countries where people earned a lot (North America and the Western Pacific).

On average, people experience social phobia during their lifetime:

  • in high-income countries - 5.5% of the population,
  • in countries with upper middle income - 2.9%,
  • in low-income countries - 1.6%.

Stefan Hoffman, director of the Laboratory of Psychotherapy and Emotion Research at Boston University, believes that the prevalence of social phobia also depends on the type of society - collectivist or individualistic. Where the individual is less likely to be the center of attention, social anxiety tends to be less pronounced than in cultures that emphasize the uniqueness of everyone.

This is confirmed by the figures in the study mentioned above: in China, social phobia manifests itself throughout life in 0.5% of people, and in the USA - in 12.1%.

Effective methods for getting rid of social phobia

It is possible to completely eliminate the presence of social phobia only with competent action on the main cause of excessive fear. This can be achieved through the practice of cognitive behavioral therapy, which should be carried out in conjunction with carefully selected drug treatment. The clinic’s specialists can choose the right approach to treatment in each individual case. Korsakov, who has impressive experience in successfully helping patients suffering from the harmful manifestations of social phobia. Depending on the situation, doctors may use hypnotherapy using deep immersion. At each stage of treatment, a qualified psychologist works with the patient, encouraging him to talk through the existing problem in order to get rid of it as effectively as possible.

Diagnostics

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), Fifth Edition, specifies the criteria for diagnosing social phobia. The patient should exhibit the following symptoms:

  • noticeable anxiety or fear due to a social situation (one or more) where he will be under close attention;
  • fear of being in an awkward position, receiving a negative assessment from people, ridicule, insults, rejection;
  • active avoidance of the above situations;
  • fear about the same situations;
  • excessive fear that does not correspond to the threat (which, in general, does not exist);
  • fear and avoidance worsen the quality of life, interfere with normal social activities and work.

The psychiatrist must make sure that the patient does not have other phobias that cause fear: PTSD, agoraphobia, body dysmorphic disorder, etc.

Treatment of social anxiety

As already stated, this disorder needs therapy, and immediate treatment. Fortunately, this neurosis is quite easy to treat, although it takes quite a long time. According to statistics, up to 90 percent of patients manage to get rid of the problem after varying amounts of time working with a specialist. The main thing is that the patient needs to make a strong-willed decision and seek help.

The psychiatric community around the world recognizes the presence and danger of such a disease. Work is constantly underway on its study and treatment methods, although not on such a large scale as, for example, schizophrenia.

The fact is that research is sponsored by pharmacological companies, and in the case of social phobia, drug therapy only eliminates the vegetative manifestations of the disease, in particular, rapid heartbeat. Usually these are antidepressants. But drugs are not able to eliminate the cause of fear, so the basis for treating the disorder is psychotherapy, without which it is impossible to cope with any neurosis. It is through its various methods that the patient can gain experience and social support.

It is almost impossible to overcome an anxious-phobic state without psychotherapy. Social phobia can worsen over time, its manifestations change and change. Pharmacological drugs affect only “the tip of the iceberg”, when, as a mild effect on the psyche, they will “melt” it completely.

Sometimes the patient simply does not have social experience, he was simply not taught something and he has no idea about it. A therapeutic session in a group where other patients share their experiences will help him learn how other people behave in a given situation, gain a fresh perspective on it, and new skills.

Cognitive behavioral therapy


This technique is used both individually and in groups. It is aimed at changing the patient's train of thought and gaining the ability to adequately respond to a fear-inducing situation.

Hypnotherapy

The most effective method of psychotherapy for this case. Thanks to the deep immersion of the patient in a trance (somnambulism), the psychotherapist has the opportunity to understand the cause of pathological fear and eliminate it. In this state, the brain works in a special mode, when all processes of higher nervous activity are subordinated to only one idea (experience).

In order for hypnotic practice to work, the patient needs complete trust in the specialist, the former’s readiness for full contact. At the same time, the psychotherapist, in turn, must be highly qualified.

It should be understood that psychotherapeutic treatment usually takes a long time. In addition, it can be very painful. Everything is complicated by the fact that patients know how to avoid pain. They had developed such skills over many years of her patience. Therefore, no specialist can give a complete guarantee of the success of treatment. After some time, a relapse may occur, and then appropriate sessions will again be necessary.

Why is social phobia often combined with other diagnoses?

All anxiety disorders are highly comorbid, that is, a person can simultaneously have several disorders that are pathogenetically related.

90% of social phobics have at least one other psychiatric diagnosis. Typically, social anxiety disorder appears first.

The most common accompaniments of social phobia are major depressive disorder (41.8%), panic disorders (5.5%), post-traumatic syndrome (5.4%), as well as alcoholism (48%) and drug addiction (18%). ). 25% of people with a first episode of psychosis have social phobia. In young people, addictions combined with social phobia are much more common - according to some data, in 85.2% of cases.

Comorbid disorders respond less well to treatment. For example, depression and bipolar disorder take longer to treat and are less effective if the patient also has an anxiety disorder.

The manifestations of anxiety disorders may change over time - from natural causes (chronic illness, other diseases in the background) or due to medication, incomplete or inadequate treatment. A person may begin to be afraid of something else, become suspicious, the symptoms of the underlying disorder become stronger and stronger, and it may become chronic and resistant to therapy.

How to treat social phobia with hypnosis


Hypnotherapy is one of the effective ways to treat phobic disorder . By putting the patient into a trance, the psychotherapist finds out the cause of social phobia. Having re-experienced a traumatic incident, a person adequately assesses the situation that caused him fear of society. Subsequently, additional psychotherapeutic settings can be made to the patient under hypnosis.

If you are faced with a manifestation of social phobia, just dial 8(969)060-93-93 . Our specialists will help you concentrate on positive attitudes, gain self-confidence, reduce fear, and over time, get rid of people’s fear altogether.

An Unidentified Disorder: Why Social Phobia Is Rarely Diagnosed

Scientists have calculated that, on average, social phobia lasts almost 23 years. Although it seriously affects all aspects of life, only about 20% of sufferers seek professional help, and usually only 15–20 years after the onset of symptoms. Less than 5% of people go to the doctor during the first year.

Often, such people consider social phobia to be a part of their personality that cannot be changed, or they look for the root cause of physiological symptoms.

Many children and teenagers are convinced that they will gradually outgrow this condition, but this is usually a misconception.

Social phobia is detected late and for other reasons:

  • specialists do not always make the correct diagnosis;
  • psychological help is stigmatized;
  • the patient is afraid of being assessed by doctors;
  • there is little information about effective treatment for social phobia;
  • There are not enough therapeutic services.

Very often, social phobia is not diagnosed at all, and the person lives with this disorder all his life.

After the first manifestations of a phobia, a person (usually a child) subconsciously or consciously trains himself to avoid situations in which he becomes the center of attention and experiences severe anxiety. Due to this, the disorder is not so traumatic, but for the same reason it is less diagnosed. A person simply gets used to living with social phobia - to the detriment of self-realization.

Seeking help is also a social situation that the patient may avoid. Therefore, the disorder is often discovered when a person begins to treat a concomitant psychological condition that is more difficult not to recognize: addiction, panic attacks, depression.

If you think you may have social anxiety, take a test

to determine the level of social anxiety (Liebowitz scale).

Common causes of social phobia

In most cases, social phobia arises in childhood after an immature person had to experience a strong emotion in a negative way, which was then repressed from the area of ​​consciousness. Often, the culprit behind the emergence of obsessive fear is the shame that was experienced during a particular unpleasant situation. Just then, the subconscious of a child, faced with a traumatic event, due to the inability to correctly assess the current circumstances, displaces the incorrectly accepted experience. Moreover, such a repressed emotion does not make itself felt until the moment when a similar situation arises, but at an older age. Despite the fact that a person logically realizes the causelessness of the excitement, he loses control over his own body. A profuse sweat occurs, the heartbeat quickens, and the sudden outbreak of uncontrollable emotions that arises rivets you in place. This picture is observed due to the fact that a previously experienced shock, which was incorrectly perceived at the time, is recorded in the life program as the optimal way to protect the delicate psyche.

Also, one of the reasons for the presence of social phobia is perverted stereotypes of belief, when a person considers himself a worthless person who will be subject to criticism immediately after he makes himself known. However, during the research work, it was also revealed that social phobia is closely related to both a deficiency of certain neurotransmitters. Another physiological cause was identified as excessive excitation in certain areas of the brain. Also, many cases have shown a direct relationship between abnormal fear of other people and the presence of schizophrenic mental disorder .

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